I forgot for a while the reason for starting my writing. To exists outside myself. I have wrote a lot about it but I don’t believe I have gone further in discussing what I mean by “existing outside yourself”.

Take, for example, a man, who in his life has had much of an effect on those around him, the existence of such a man, would be secured in those around him. I mean by this that this man having lived has had influence on the lives of others, therefore, there has been as much purpose to this man being alive, as there is in the sum of all the lives of those he has had influence over.

Contrary to this, look at a man that, say for example, has lived his life excluded from any around him, and is cursed to never have influence over another soul for the continuation of eternity. Now while this man without a doubt has lived, is there any purpose to this mans life? What difference would it make to the reality of people, and existence as a whole, if such a man was never born? I would argue that such a man has no reason for living under such conditions.

To give example, imagine you are in a room alone, no one to see you or hear you. Now imagine that there is a basket infront of you and a ball in your hand. You could shoot, and make as many baskets as possible, and yet, if in a full room, you couldn’t make a single basket, then the ones that were made in solitude would count for nothing. There would be no difference wether you made 100% of the shots or 0, so long as your performance in company was not reflective of that in solitude.

Now take this further, as to illustrate my point of one living a pointless existence. Imagine you take those shots, you make however many you make, and yet.. the opportunity to perform before an audience never arrives, and you are aware of such a fate, would there be any true reason for attempting a shot at all?

Let’s now reflect this to the reality in which many live. You live your life doing what you can, what you believe is for reason, and yet, there is none to witness it. And so, you die as such.. without witness. No matter wether you existed at all in the first place or not, you were without purpose.

This can only be avoided by having a witness to your existence correct? I mean, if someone is there to witness the actions you take, surely they would in some way be influenced by you, and thus, in their existence you have been given purpose, your own existence. Your purpose can be to influence another in such a way as you see fit.

But there is more yet that needs to be dissected.

If the existence of an individual, is secured through the influence, or being witnessed by another, and from such their existence is secured within the existence of the individual, what purpose or existence does the individual hold?

It would seem, rather unfortunately for our character in search of true existence, that securing their existence in that of another (who exists within the same constraints as himself) has resulted in neither having ever found any true existence.

Let us go back to our previous analogy. You stand in a room and shoot a ball into a basket, the only purpose for taking the shot is that you have a witness. Another who is in the room with you. In this witness, your shooting the basket has reason, that is, for another to witness and be affected by such. However, this man is also confined to the same constraints that you are. No one will ever witness this man, he will live without influence over any other. And so, regardless of your own influence over this individual, if you look at the bigger picture, the web of influence is halted at just you two sorry individuals.

Well, you may ask, in this case is there no reason for my existing? Would I be better off putting an end to it now? And such a question (or rather such a doubt) would not be without reason. Yet.. there is still hope for ones existence. For it is true that while ones existence cannot be secured through there influence of those who exist within the same conditions as himself, there is that which exists outside the bounds of time and understanding. Such is what many would consider God.

Now this God belongs not to religion, bias, or personal belief, but to truth and reality. For the originator of all things can be found through the dissection of that which has come to be from such. I mean, through the dissection of reality, and the removal of bias and personal beliefs, the originator of such reality can be found. Since such a being, capable of creating all that is, must exist beyond the constraints that that which has been created, the existence of a product of such creation can look only to such a being or what is God, as the source of true existence.

Imagine now you, and your fellow hopeless witness, exist within a box. A box which has many windows for an outside observer (who also happens to be the creator of both you and your witness, as well as the box and windows). Now as you make these shots for what may seem without reason, you have influence over your witness, and the existence of both you, and your personal witness, are being viewed by that which is beyond even your understanding. What further pursuit of true existence is there? You have been witnessed by He who created the constraints of existence. What further pursuit of understanding is there? You have been freed.

To conclude this long written argument, that may yet have much to be further explored. I do not find any real existence in writing here, but I hope to fulfill the duty set upon me by the witness of all things. That I may give my life and existence, to influence those who exist within the same restraints as me, in a way that brings them to the freedom that I have found, even if such a goal requires me first to make them aware of such sorrowful existence.

I haven’t wrote here since the direction of my life has changed. I am now giving my efforts to fulfilling a purpose that I have wagered my existence on, and with every effort I must pursue it.

With every word you read I seek to gather a witness that I hope to bring before the originator of all things, so that we all may share freedom, in true existence.

With all hope of future joys,

Taylor M. Wilson