In the occurrence of connection, as in this period of my life I find it increasingly more common, I question the significance of putting firth effort into new relationship. And for that matter, any relationship, as at some point, all was new.

In pursuing this connection I feel conflicted. I guess in pursuing any connection. If you are familiar with my posts then you’re aware with my interest and concerns with the conditions of proper existence and its relation to connection with others. I may have decided, for now at least, that it is to no disadvantage to test the results of pursing connection, even if it is at such a superficial level. But in doing so, while I have enjoyed myself just for the social aspect and how it appeals to my nature, I wonder what true reason there is for it. It is obvious that it is impossible to achieve complete connection, and thus, it is useless to pursue proper existence through social connection. So, if not to achieve proper existence, and not being convinced by the appeal to our natural desire, why should I pursue connection? Is it because there is some benefit that I seek to gain from those around me? If not intentional, do I subconsciously have some motive that pushes me to feel the need to create this connection?

I couldn’t tell you for the life of me what goal I wish to reach, what reward I seek through the investment in relation, but Im not so oblivious as to not consider the existence of such a motive. There must be a degree at which each desire appeals to the machines of subconscious that dictate what you should pursue. As in, for each different desire, there must be a constant variation in which one takes precedence in your subconscious, that you would unknowingly pursue. And if that’s the case, then with each interaction you must gauge which people can best satisfy the current most prioritized desire. This is, of course, assuming that other than pursuit of proper existence, and pursuing a natural instinct, there is no other reason for connection with others but personal gain.

So, I am going to give some thoughts into alternative motivations for both our conscious, and unconscious pursuits of connection. I would love to hear others thoughts on possible motivations, so please, leave a comment with your opinions.

That’s all for this one, thank you all.

With hope of proper understanding,

Taylor M. Wilson