I really have nothing to say but I hope everything is okay. Hopefully one day you’ll be able to see the world slow down and you’ll be fully aware of your place in it. From that I hope that you can look at your position and with your new found self, reflect that back through your existence into hope for your past self, and if the worlds is kind enough that past will receive your hope. And if that is the case, then now, somewhere in the frequencies of the universe exists the hope of your end, and if you sit for a moment, and sift through the noise of your life, you should be able to hear something of it. if it’s not the case, then maybe for the time being at least you will find a hope that originated from yourself now, and that may be even better. Regardless, there’s gotta be something, and if not, oh well, tell yourself you haven’t looked hard enough I suppose.

I know however, that hope is something that feels of little use in many moments. I mean, even knowing that you’ll make it out of hell doesn’t make it any more bearable. I know I’ve spoke about living in sacrifice for your future self, and I truly think that’s a noble cause but hopefully there is another option, more kind to your current self that can precede such sacrifice. I really think that maybe we’re all looking for the wrong thing, placing our will in the wrong place. All anyone wants in any case, beneath all the other desires, is to love and to be loved. There are obvious obstacles to this, I mean where do you put your love if there’s no one there to receive it, at least not someone who will return it in the balanced way I needs be to form the conjunction of loving and being loved. Perhaps then there’s something that will reciprocate your love unconditional, in perfect ratio to your output of love. The only thing I can think of that would logically do so is some form of God, or, that of yourself. I mean, and love given towards yourself is necessarily reciprocated in perfect equality. Maybe that’s it, and what you’re lacking is self love. Not that that’s a simple solution, how do you love yourself more? Especially, how can you give yourself all the love you contain while still hoping for another to share it with. I suppose you must love yourself to the degree necessary to give love to another, and maybe it’s a function of the universe that once you max our own self love reality will make it so that you find someone. Even if that’s not the case, living with that being your belief will only end in you progressively increasing your own self love which would be not such a bad thing. In the end all life really is, is convincing yourself of different certain “ways” of the universe. The only thing you have to do is make sure those things that, even if false, the progress of functioning other at least gives you a positive.

So yeah, really nothing to say just like.. convince yourself of something good for you and believe in that in so long as you can keep cashing out and either you’ll realize it’s false, and take all your winnings onto a different belief, or you will have been right and win win.

Good luck,

Taylor Wilson